I leaned against the doorway of the kitchen as my mother washed the dishes, chattering on about my school day. But mom had no use for third grade anecdotes; she turned her head toward me and with a sneer on her face said, “You talk too much.”
Bam! A lump the size of a grapefruit formed in my throat. My chest tightened and tears threatened. Taking my cue, I left the room. The serpent took his cue and echoed my mom, “You’re stupid and uninteresting.”
Some of my soul withered that day.
At the tender age of 8, I stopped sharing my life with mom, and became very guarded about what I shared with others. That pattern continued well into my adult years.
But everyone longs to be heard. Including me. To be heard is to be valued. To be heard is to be validated, significant, esteemed. To be heard is to be loved.
And then . . .I found a way to be heard. It was quite by accident.
In high school, we had a choice between doing a science project or oration. I hated the thought of a science project; I chose to read a poem instead. How hard could that be? For the first time in my life all eyes were on me, all ears were listening, and they liked it. They liked me. Whoa! What a powerful feeling! My withered soul expanded a bit.
Some years later I joined Toastmasters (a communication and leadership development club). I earned every certificate they offered and received their highest honors. Trophies, ribbons, newspaper clippings, and plaques all whispered in concert, “We like listening to her, we like what she has to say, we like her.” Validation. Significance. Love.
It’s been twelve years since my Toastmaster stint and I no longer have an interest in public speaking. What? Yep, you heard it, no real interest in being a public speaker. What happened? Jesus happened. He showed me that my public speaking ambitions were all about that little girl leaning against the doorframe, wanting her mother to be interested. Wanting her mother to value her and love her.
Jesus revealed that terrible lie Satan planted in my heart; the lie I agreed with. He spoke truth to me, “Kinsey girl, I’m terribly interested in you. You are my treasure. I want to hear all about your day. Everything about you matters to me.” He wiped my tears; I leaned back against His chest and exhaled. I was home. Validation. Significance. Love.
So dear coaching friends, our last class stirred up these thoughts in me when instructor Ann with an “e” asked, “What does it feel like to be listened to?” Answer: It feels like home.
It feels like home.
May we become His ears
and create a place where people dare to believe
that they are valued, significant, and loved.
A place that feels like home.
Cheryl Scanlan says
This is phenomenal… You are walking in TRUTH! Galations 1:1-10 and seeking the pleasure of your heavenly Father. Inspirational in its honesty, pointing to and glorifying our Father. Amen and Amen! (I may post a link to this from my own blog when we publish “The Moviestar Mentality”…
Cheryl Thomas says
I love how you share bits of your life that reflect the Father’s heart!
Kim Avery says
I LOVE the fact that Jesus listens to me all the time and is interested in every little thing. We are so blessed.
Debi Williams says
Way to go Kinsey! Way to overcome Satan and how he uses others to hurt us! Congrats on the honors and certificates at Toastmasters! I, too, will be overcoming a fear of public speaking by attending my first meeting this Tueday at Toastmasters!
Summer Alexander says
I love this full circle experience Kinsey! Thank you so much for sharing this, it truly inspired me and reminded me to remember to be always present and available for my children.
Mathabo Masilela says
I am on the journey of being heard, thank you for accompanying me.
Mathabo
Kinsey says
I would love to hear your story. Thank you for stopping by!
Diane Dotson says
Beautiful and uplifting, Kinsey… trading lies for the truth of what we mean to God. Thank you for sharing your story!
Kinsey says
Thank you Diane – for reading and giving your feedback. Looking forward to our next skype.
Susan Fleming says
Thank you for reminding me that Jesus really is interested in what I have to say. I needed to hear that today.
Kinsey says
Thank you so much for stopping by Susan. So glad the message was meaningful to you.
Kerry Iannone says
Sad at the beginning yet beautiful in the end. Isn’t that what God does in each of us if we allow Him to? Your writing is anointed. You touched my heart and spirit today. Thank you–I needed that today. May the Lord bless you richly as you continue to surrender to Him and reflect His love for you and others.
Kinsey says
Bless you Kerry. I needed your encouragement about my writing. Thanks!
Kim Hawkins says
We all find our path. It takes time and it takes courage to share it. Thank you!